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Dear Mom and Dad, Please Love This House


Dear Mom and Dad –

Your kids are so excited!  They found a home in the exact neighborhood they want.  They have enough savings for the down payment and closing, their lender says they qualify for $40,000 more than this, and the home is in great condition.  They can move right in and live here without any fix-up expenses and it’s large enough so they can live in the home even after they have a couple of kids.  That will save them a bundle of selling and buying costs down the road, compared to starting out smaller and moving later to accommodate a growing family.

The home has a finished basement with full bath, two car garage, new HVAC… It has hardwood floors and a first floor master bedroom… There’s a fireplace and a porch… The kitchen and baths need updating, but they’re usable and clean – your kids will enjoy doing those update later, just like you did in your home.

They know you’ll be so proud of them, and they can’t wait to show it to you!

What? You’re not proud of them? You think this home is too expensive? You don’t think their first house should be their dream house? You think they should get a cheap fixer-upper that you can help them re-build in your vision, not theirs?

Just for the record, speaking as their real estate agent, your adult kids have done their homework. The first thing they did was contact a lender you recommended to find out how much they could spend on a home. They drove around neighborhoods and visited open houses before they even contacted me.

You have been with them at every step along the way, whether you know it or not… they have learned from you and your experiences and taken those lessons to heart. Your influence has colored their taste in homes and neighborhoods – and their choice of this home.

They did carefully consider every little thing they thought you might say. That’s why they expected you to be proud of them.

They are crushed at your reaction!

They are struggling with what to do next. Pass on this house and find another you will approve? But they don’t know where to start because they were so sure you’d be proud of them with this choice.

They don’t know it yet, but I do… I’ve seen this happen many times before with other first-time buyers. Next time they find a home, they won’t expect your support. In fact, they probably won’t ask for it or even tell you about it until AFTER they find and buy a home without any input from you.

They really do want to share with you this milestone in their lives. If only you could find it in your heart to be supportive and provide constructive feedback instead of ruining this moment for them. They would listen to you… they really do want your input.

Yes, they want you to love this house as much as they do.  Most of all, however, they want you to be proud of them.


Your children’s real estate agent

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